Five financial mistakes that can be fatal to your relationship
Analaura Luna In the early, heady days of romance, money is probably the last thing on the mind of most couples - money problems are probably even further down the list! After all, at the beginning of a relationship there are plenty of other important things to argue about - like whether the toilet seat stays up or down, who gets the remote control and whose turn it is to do the washing up! And while not focusing on money might be fine to begin with, it can cause big problems in a relationship if you don't work together to set solid money management foundations that you both agree on.
According to Wesley Mission, 70 per cent of people experiencing money problems said that it poisoned other aspects of their lives, and PayPal's 'Can't Buy Me Love' survey revealed that over 30 per cent of Australian couples admit to having money trouble, so it seems that not getting money management plans sorted out is causing quite a lot of relationship issues. But the good news is that it's never too late to start mapping out your money management, and the best place to begin is by making sure that your relationship doesn't caught by these money traps:
Trap One: Financial infidelity
There's more than one way to be unfaithful and if you’ve entered a new relationship with a lot of secret debt or you’ve got into the habit of hiding purchases then financial infidelity could be a problem in your relationship. While keeping big secrets from your significant other can create distrust no matter what they’re about, keeping financial secrets makes it difficult to work together as a team on your money management strategy. It’s hard to pay down your debts or reach your financial goals if you keep sabotaging each other, and if your relationship is going to be a success, you need to be honest about what you owe and what you’ve spent.
Trap Two: Living in a financial dictatorship
If one of you hates handling money decisions and other other loves it, it can be easy for one of you to wind up taking care of the money management by default, but leaving all of the important financial issues to one person can lead to serious strife. The person managing the investment and planning aspects of your financial relationship is often labelled the ‘saver’, which means the other partner can often get stuck with the title of ‘spender’ and take the heat when the family goes over budget. On the other hand, the ‘saver’ is left holding the bag if the long-term financial goals aren't reached. If both partners take responsibility for some of the family finances then both people get to have their say – and nobody needs to take all the blame when something goes wrong!
Trap Three: Leaving yourself open to money stress
Financial disaster doesn't discriminate - it can strike anybody. Unexpectedly losing your job, having an accident or falling ill can all lead to big financial stress, and being unable to cover your expenses can cause a lot of extra worry at a time when it's likely that you'll already be struggling to cope. While there are organisations out there that can help with money problems, there's no guarantee that you'll get all of the help that you need, so it’s vital that you take steps to protect yourself. That means, making sure that you have all of the right personal insurances in place and setting up an ‘emergency fund’ that can be used to cover your living expenses for at least six months if you're affected by something that falls outside the cover of an insurance policy.
Trap Four: Not being money partners as well as life partners
Most people wouldn't dream of getting into a serious relationship without discussing important things like where to live, whether to have children and even how many kids to have. So why do so many people stop short of discussing financial dreams and goals as well? Without having that discussion, it's impossible to tell whether or not you're financially compatible and it's impossible to reach financial goals if you both think you're heading in totally different directions, or even if you're heading the same way, but not working together to make it happen. True money partners talk about what they want to achieve, decide how they're going to achieve it and then work together to make it happen.
Trap Five: Losing your independence
Having a great relationship is all about sharing, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have things that are just 'yours'. Being financially independent is a great way of maintaining the strength of your relationship - you can't be true partners if you're not on equal financial footing, and if one person in a relationship feels as like they have to ask the other for money all the time it can breed a lot of resentment. Having separate bank accounts as well as a joint one is a great way of maintaining that equality preventing your relationship from falling into this particular financial trap.
When you're working on building a great relationship, the last thing you want is to mess it up by making silly money mistakes. By working together on your money management plan and remembering that the key to a great relationship is good old-fashioned communication, you and your partner will be able to create a financial partnership that's just as strong as your romantic one. And then you'll be able to get back to arguing about the things that are really worth fighting over - like who's going to decide what you're watching on TV tonight!
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Tags: money management, money problems, money trouble, help with money, couples money planning
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